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New Bremen Musicians

This classic animated film is a must-watch for anyone who loves a good comedy. New Bremen's lovable misfits and hilarious misadventures will keep you entertained from start to finish, guaranteed.

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A Messy Remake That Falls Flat

Name: A Messy Remake That Falls Flat
Item: New Bremen Musicians
Rating: 1
Author: Jason_Fields

summarizeEditor's Summary

I'm really disappointed with this remake of The Bremen Town Musicians. I've been a fan of the original since I grew up in the Soviet Union, where their music was a staple on the radio. But this new version is a total letdown. The animation is subpar, the acting is lackluster, and it's clear they're just trying to cash in on the original's popularity. I was expecting a lot more, but what I got was a watered-down, soulless retelling of a classic story. The music is still catchy, but it's not enough to save this film. The animation is a major letdown, with poor character designs and subpar visuals. The acting is also lackluster, with most of the cast feeling like they're phoning it in. The story is watered down and lacks the charm of the original. The pacing is slow and plodding, making it hard to stay engaged. The film's themes are handled poorly, feeling like an afterthought. I was really looking forward to this remake, but it's a major letdown. I'd recommend sticking with the original.

settingsSpecifications

Oyun6/10

KararKötü

Grafik7/10

Kalite4/10

I'll never forget the time I stumbled upon a film that had somehow appeared in my life's surroundings: The Bremen Town Musicians 2023. I just had to watch it, given how well I know the original musicians from Bremen. I grew up with their music in the Soviet Union, and it's a big part of my childhood. They used to play it all the time on the radio, and it felt like a ritual. I ended up watching the film and wrote a review about it, and I'm not ashamed to say I was totally blown away. I mean, I was pretty enthusiastic about it.

After watching the film, I started thinking about how long it's been since I last revisited the original stories. I haven't written any reviews about them in ages, and those cartoons are still some of my favorites. I decided it was time to take another look – to organize my thoughts, remember some stuff, and calm down. But, as it turned out, I couldn't calm down because, as it happens, another film based on my beloved Soviet originals had already taken up residence in my life's surroundings.

I was kicking myself for missing 'New Bremen Musicians' when they first came out. I must have been too busy with something else, and the animated illusion just didn't catch my attention. But when I decided to revisit the series, 'New Bremen Musicians' had already slipped my mind and were lost in the depths of my watch history.

Somehow, though, the universe saw fit to bring them back to my attention. Let's just say I'm glad I did, because my life was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

After my review of the live-action film about the Bremen musicians, I wrote two more reviews for the original Soviet-era Bremen animated musical fantasy here 1, and here 2. And let me tell you, it was a real trip down memory lane. From the new to the old, the emotions, the music, the memories – everything was just fantastic. That was until I stumbled upon 'New Bremen Musicians'. And, boy, did they leave a sour taste in my mouth.

I had to resort to blasting some heavy music to cleanse my chakras and then soothing my wounds with some soothing melodies to get back to normal. And just when I thought I'd finally found my balance, I found myself swept up in the magic of some beautiful classical music.

Now that the dust has settled, I'm finally ready to put the remaining negativity on paper and move on from these 'new' things. I need to calm down about the 'old' ones for a long time.

To make it more dramatic, I need to call on the help of the 'screeching piglet.' To be honest, this meme can also be used to briefly characterize the whole movie 'The New Bremen Town Musicians.'

The first thing that comes to mind after seeing and hearing all this is irritation. Almost like in Egor Letov's song 'Irritation' from the song 'The Grob':

Kryshi eht od tnenrepon, kryshi eht od zloy obidy...

Honestly, I'm used to getting annoyed by all sorts of weirdness, and even cyberpunk post-apocalyptic surrealism is my comfort zone. But not this time. I got a weird, lingering dislike for this movie from the very start – it just felt off on a gut level. Everything about it was unpleasant, right from the beginning.

First off, the animation was super annoying – it was like they took a bunch of random, jerky movements and tried to pass it off as cool. The whole thing looked like it was about to fall apart at any moment, and the characters' movements were all choppy and unnatural. I just wanted to keep watching and shouting 'surviving pig' over and over. I remember something similar in the 1988 'Treasure Island' adaptation, but that was actually part of the point – the movie's tone and style demanded it, and it didn't bug me at all.

Then there are the characters, which were completely butchered. I mean, I'll compare them to the originals, even if they're called 'super-deformed' or whatever. What's 'new' about them, anyway? They're just mangled versions of the old stuff. If the original Bremen musicians had a certain charm and individuality, these cardboard cutouts are just soulless, one-dimensional messes. They all look the same, with the same expression and posture.

I've got to say, the characters in this thing are straight-up terrible. There's not a single likable character in the bunch. They're all just weird, ugly, and annoying. I'm starting to think that maybe the animation was intentionally made this way to be off-putting. But I highly doubt it. They were probably just trying to show off, but it's more like a trainwreck than a masterpiece in my opinion. I think showing this movie would be a good punishment, but maybe that's a bit too harsh, even for the worst offenders.

The 'New Bremen Town Musicians' is a form of torture in its own right, and that's being generous. The sound design is some of the most annoying I've ever had the misfortune of experiencing. It's like they took every awful singing voice, every screeching, squawking, and squealing sound effect, and mashed them all together into a cacophony of ear-piercing terror. Sometimes you'll catch a glimpse of something familiar, but I'm pretty sure that's just to rub it in and make it even more infuriating.

I don't even want to talk about the plot of this movie. If I had to sum it up, I'd say it's just a bunch of nonsense. And the ending? Forget about it. It's like they took every terrible idea they could think of and mashed them all together into a big mess. It's like they're trying to say that we've run out of ideas and are just going to keep rehashing the same old crap over and over again. And to make matters worse, they're trying to pass it off as some kind of clever commentary. Please.

There was a king, the king had a court, the court had a well, the well had a bucket; and that's about it.

It's like they're saying that we're so desperate for new ideas that we're just going to keep churning out the same old garbage, and call it something new. And to top it all off, they're trying to make us believe that these soulless, cookie-cutter characters are somehow better than the real thing. It's a pretty sad state of affairs, and I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that they're trying to pass this off as entertainment, or the fact that there are people out there who will actually fall for it.

I've gotta say, it's not hard to find a fake Princess or a fake King, and there are plenty of wannabe troubadours out there too. This little guy, with his dog, cat, chicken, and donkey, is getting ready to become a carbon copy of the real thing, and the 'factory of stars' is working overtime to make it happen.

The whole thing is just going to repeat itself, like it always does: night, icy canal water, the pharmacy, the street, the streetlight...

Those final moments are super emotional, but let's be real, they're not exactly going to make me want to try these fake food supplements. You can't recreate the magic of the original, and the new songs with their cheesy rhymes just can't hold a candle to the classics.

***

At the end of the day, all these 'Matrix' and 'Terminator' wannabes are just going to end up being copies of the originals. It's only a matter of time before that happens with the Bremen Town Musicians too.

Now, I wouldn't be opposed to a new animated take on this story, but this particular adaptation just didn't do it for me.

It's not that I don't appreciate a good adaptation, but there's just something about this one that rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, I've seen some pretty rough stuff in my time, but this one just didn't have it.

live_helpFeatured FAQ

Is this remake worth watching if I'm a fan of the original?

Unfortunately, no. While the music is still catchy, the rest of the film is a major letdown. If you're a fan of the original, it's best to stick with the classic.

Is this remake suitable for kids?

Yes, but with caveats. The movie's message about perseverance is still inspiring, but the animation and acting are subpar. It's best to watch it with your kids and have a discussion about what's good and what's not.

Is this remake a faithful adaptation of the original story?

Yes, but it's not executed well. The movie stays true to the original story, but the animation and acting are lacking. It's a shame, because the story is still worth telling.

Is this remake a good introduction to the original story?

Yes, but it's not the best way to introduce kids to the original story. The movie is a decent way to get kids interested, but it's not the most engaging or well-made film.

Is this remake worth watching if I'm new to the original story?

No. If you're new to the original story, it's best to start with the classic. This remake is a major letdown, and it's not worth your time.

Is this remake a good representation of the original story's themes?

No. The movie's themes are handled poorly, feeling like an afterthought. It's a shame, because the original story's themes are still worth exploring.

Is this remake a good way to spend an hour and a half?

No. The movie is slow and plodding, making it hard to stay engaged. It's best to watch something else.

Is this remake worth watching if I'm a fan of animation?

No. The animation is subpar, and it's not worth watching for that alone. If you're a fan of animation, there are better films out there.

Is this remake worth watching if I'm a fan of the original music?

Maybe. The music is still catchy, but it's not enough to save this film. If you're a fan of the original music, you might enjoy it, but it's not worth watching for the music alone.

check_circlePros

•The music is still catchy, even if the rest of the film isn't
•The animation isn't completely terrible, but it's a far cry from the original
•The movie stays true to the original story, even if it's not executed well
•The cast is diverse, even if they're not the best fit for their roles
•The film's message about perseverance is still inspiring, even if it's not delivered well
•The movie is a decent way to introduce kids to the original story
•The animation has some nice moments, but they're few and far between
•The cast has some chemistry, but it's not enough to save the film

cancelCons

•The animation is a major letdown, with poor character designs and subpar visuals
•The acting is lackluster, with most of the cast feeling like they're phoning it in
•The story is watered down and lacks the charm of the original
•The pacing is slow and plodding, making it hard to stay engaged
•The film's themes are handled poorly, feeling like an afterthought
•The movie's lack of originality is a major turnoff
•The animation is not well-suited for the story
•The film's tone is all over the place