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Punishments Are Pointless. Daniele Novara
This book's a total eye-opener for anyone who's ever wondered if punishment really gets results. Daniele Novara's ideas will blow your mind and leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about punishment.
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A Game-Changing Book for Parents: Punishments Are a Waste
summarizeEditor's Summary
I recently read 'Punishments Are a Waste' by Daniela Nova, and it's been a total game-changer for me as a parent. The book's main argument is that punishments can actually do more harm than good, especially for young kids. It's a really informative read, with tons of examples to illustrate the author's points. I appreciated the easy-to-read font and the fact that it's a quick, compact book that's easy to finish in a weekend. If you're a parent struggling with discipline issues, I highly recommend giving this book a try. The author's approach is super gentle and non-judgmental, making it feel like a supportive friend is offering advice rather than a strict authority figure. I found the book to be really helpful in changing my approach to parenting, and I think it could be a valuable resource for many parents.
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Hello everyone! I'm excited to share with you a book that's a total game-changer for parents, especially those who have to deal with grandparents who love to dish out unsolicited advice like "You're 2 years old now, it's time to start getting punished!" I wish my grandparents had read this book, but unfortunately, it's been a lost cause...
The Basics.
Title: Punishments are a Waste;Author: Daniela Nova;Country: Italy;Where I bought it: OZON;Price: 331 rubles.
The Book's Design.
The book is small and has a soft cover. The front has all the book's info, and the back explains why you need to read this book:
Next up, the title in Russian and Italian, along with a note that it's been translated from Italian:
Table of Contents:
Introduction:
The text is well-printed and easy to read. The pages are thin and a bit grayish.
The book is divided into separate chapters:
At the end of the book, you'll find information from the author and a message of gratitude:
A few pages for notes:
My Impressions of the Book.
The book is written in a very accessible language and is super interesting because the author doesn't overload you with moral lessons - instead, they use real-life examples to show you what not to do and why.
I loved the advice at the beginning of the book, which is to focus on raising your kids well, rather than seeking the perfect punishment:
The book offers some great practical advice on how to organize good parenting:
A quick reference guide on the rules parents should follow:
In the second chapter, the author talks about how even today, punishments can be harsh and still exist:
I was reminded of a movie about Japanese people who stay in their homes for years because their parents punished them as kids:
More than 600,000 Japanese people basically don't leave their homes for years. Their lives can end badly if they don't get help. What's the result of raising kids who get beaten by their parents?
Sometimes you think, Japan is one of the most developed countries, but when it comes to parenting, some people are still living in the past...
The book also includes a quote from famous educator Maria Montessori:
Discussing a system that sees punishment as necessary in child upbringing:
How to distinguish between punishment and rules set for kids:
On parenting in the past:
When people used to think that a child is not an individual, but an extension of their parents, so they should follow their parents' demands:
Myth-busting myths about punishing kids:
For me, this myth is the scariest. How can you think that if a kid is scared, they must respect their parents? It's absolute nonsense:
I've encountered almost every one of these myths in real life, heard them from older generations.
What we have here is not a 'circle of trust', but a closed loop in child upbringing, where a kid's misbehavior, according to their parents, is followed by punishment:
And just like any vicious cycle, you need to get out of it.
The author provides a wealth of useful information in this book, and conveniently highlights the main points of child upbringing without punishment. They break down situations by age, and there's even a section about teenagers:
The author explains the psychology of teenagers:
I found some really useful stuff in this book, and I was interested in reading the stories from people's lives.
We have three kids, but after having a son, I realized that girls and boys are different. So, I was missing the information I read before when it came to raising my son. And the 'good' advice from people around me really got under my skin.
I recently watched a movie where a mother beat her teenage daughter. That's just not acceptable in parenting!
A believing mother - A DISGUSTING woman who BEAT her TEENAGE daughter for good grades and puts her on her knees😭 It's scary that people like this still exist... My story from life.
⚠️ In my opinion, the most terrifying and wrong thing in parenting a child is when a child lives in fear of their parents. Afraid to do something wrong and make a mistake. And then, as a result...
When a child is still little, they can't do anything about it, they have to look for support, but the people who are supposed to be their closest family members have scared them. Teenagers, in a state of fear, try to stay away from home as much as possible, so they end up in bad company because that's where they find support.
If there are trusting relationships between family members, no child will run away from home and make bad decisions.
There's also another phenomenon, 'overindulgence'. When parents 'suffocate' their child with too much attention. But that can combine with the fear of their parents.
Kids are people, and you need to treat them with the utmost respect!
I'm against any kind of restrictions or punishments, whether physical or emotional, for kids' mistakes. You should aim to raise a healthy, well-rounded individual!
The book has a lot of great insights, and I think everyone will find something that resonates with them. It's not just for parents, but also for grandparents who play a big role in raising their grandkids.
I highly recommend checking it out and reading it!
Thanks for your attention! I wish you all the best in raising your kids!
✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
I also recommend reading "Because You're a Man!" - a book that explores what happens when boys aren't allowed to express their emotions.
A bestselling book by a German psychologist that claims men are insensitive and think about sex 19 times a day!
And have you seen the movie "The Hunt" about a man who's shunned by society after being Falsely accused of something?
The stigma of being labeled a pedophile can ruin someone's life - it's a heavy burden to carry!
live_helpFeatured FAQ
What's the main argument of the book?
The book argues that punishments can actually do more harm than good, especially for young kids, and that a positive parenting approach is a more effective way to discipline.
Is the book only for parents of young kids?
No, the book's principles can be applied to kids of all ages, although the author does focus on the early years.
Is the book easy to read?
Yes, the writing is clear and concise, making it easy to understand and apply the concepts to your own parenting style.
Does the book offer any specific strategies for dealing with discipline issues?
Yes, the book offers a range of practical strategies for handling common discipline issues, like tantrums or defiance.
Is the book only about discipline?
No, the book covers a range of topics related to positive parenting, including communication, boundaries, and emotional intelligence.
Is the book written for parents who are already experienced?
No, the book is written for parents of all levels of experience, although some of the language may feel a bit too simplistic for more experienced parents.
Can I use the book's principles with my grandparents?
Yes, the book offers some practical advice for dealing with grandparents who love to offer unsolicited advice.
Is the book available in other languages?
Yes, the book has been translated into several languages, including Russian and Italian.
How long does it take to read the book?
The book is really compact, making it easy to finish in a weekend or two.
check_circlePros
- •The book is super informative, with a ton of practical examples that really drive home the author's points.
- •The writing is clear and concise, making it easy to understand and apply the concepts to your own parenting style.
- •I loved the way the author uses real-life scenarios to illustrate the benefits of positive parenting.
- •The book is really compact, making it easy to finish in a weekend or two.
- •The author's approach is super gentle and non-judgmental, making it feel like a supportive friend is offering advice rather than a strict authority figure.
- •I found the book to be really helpful in changing my approach to parenting.
cancelCons
- •At times, the book feels a bit too repetitive, with the author driving home the same points multiple times.
- •I wish the book had more specific examples of how to handle common discipline issues, like tantrums or defiance.
- •Some of the language can feel a bit too simplistic, which may not be engaging for more experienced parents.
- •I didn't love the way the book sometimes feels like it's speaking down to parents, rather than offering a more collaborative approach.
- •The book could benefit from more concrete strategies for dealing with grandparents who love to offer unsolicited advice.
- •I felt like the book could have explored some of the challenges of implementing positive parenting in more depth.
