A Total Disappointment: Nowhere Falls Flat

I've been putting off reading this book for ages, but I finally got around to it - and I'm glad I didn't waste my time. The story's got some interesting ideas, but it's a total mess. I mean, who thought it was a good idea to make the main character a scatterbrain who forgets everything and messes things up? Richard's supposed to be the hero, but he's more like a lovable loser. And don't even get me started on the plot holes - there are so many, it's like trying to keep track of a group of kids playing Minecraft and commenting on their gameplay.

The Plot.The Main Characters

Nowhere. Neil GaimanThe story's told from a third-person perspective, which is a bit of a slog at first, especially in the early chapters. The narrative jumps around, and it's hard to keep track of what's going on. We've got our main character, Richard, who's a young guy who's moved to London for work. He's got a fiancée, Jessica, but their relationship is weird - they don't even have a relationship at the start. Take, for instance, the moment when Richard and Jessica get into a fight:

Nowhere. Neil GaimanI'm probably missing something, but it never occurred to me to wonder if my boss likes my husband. Who cares if they're introduced? Okay, fine, Richard needs to impress Jessica's boss, but why? There's no explanation. Why does Jessica trust Richard to book a table at a restaurant for a mysterious meeting with a magician? I have no idea. He's just a scatterbrain who forgets everything and messes things up.

Author Gaiman constantly breaks his own rules and contradicts himself. Take, for instance, the moment when the Door appears in upper London. Richard and Jessica are upper-worlders, right? They can see lower-worlders if they want to, but only if they ask specifically. And even then, they forget about them right away. That's exactly what happens with Richard, and that's the foundation of the whole story and his motivation. But how did Richard get mixed up in this whole mess in the first place?

Nowhere. Neil GaimanRichard was the first to notice the Door, but Jessica saw it too, lying there, not asking for anything. Richard was the one who approached it first. Later, he and the Door wonder how it happened, but that's it. They don't bother to figure it out. It's just one of many plot holes throughout the book. If you think that maybe, just maybe, the author will come up with a clever explanation later on, you'll be disappointed. The story's full of holes, and it's just plain messy. Even the death of the Marquess is ridiculous and predictable. And then, of course, he just comes back to life at the right moment. Why not just bring back the whole family of the Door? They're all dead, after all. But no, that would've been too easy. We're supposed to be shocked by the Marquess's resurrection, but it's just another example of the author's laziness.

Nowhere. Neil GaimanThe main villain, by the way, isn't even the missing sister. Nope, it's someone else entirely. Because, you know, reasons. I was literally rolling my eyes at the end, trying to keep track of all the plot holes and inconsistencies. I thought I was reading a joke. I mean, I love fantasy, but this book's a total mess. It's like watching a group of kids playing Minecraft and commenting on their gameplay. Or an interview with a celebrity who claims to be a great housekeeper because they have a maid.

The Verdict.

I barely managed to finish it. If the author had stopped the story at Richard's test with the black monks, it would've been a fun little tale. But no, they had to keep going and pad it out to meet some arbitrary page count. The result is a complete disaster: a story with too many plot holes, too many inconsistencies, and just plain boring. I'd rather be reading a Pelévin novel, which is also absurd and fantastical, but at least it's got some dark humor, sarcasm, and satire. Have you read 'Life and Adventures of Sarcasm Number Seven'? It's a hoot!

I'm not even going to bother saying it's not the worst thing I've read recently. It's just... ugh. Thanks for reading my review, I guess. It's probably not going to be helpful to you.